Wheel of Fortune!

Originally uploaded by duzercruzer

I’ve been having so much fun here in Beijing that I almost forgot I’m here for ‘Olympic’ coverage. Well, it’s not easy without a press pass and Tickets. I’ve been looking online for anything, I’d even go to those boring shooting events but unfortunately, everything is super expensive. But have no fear! The ‘Out There Guy’ will get in, somehow, someway!

I’ve actually been very surprised with the low numbers of foreign tourists at the big attractions. I expected huge crowds and long lines, but it’s been nice and orderly. Good for me, bad for China. Maybe if they had made it easier to get a visa more people would be here. More noodles for me though, I’m not complaining!

I just learned about the lip syncing little girl at the opening ceremonies. Doesn’t surprise me one bit actually. The Chinese like their women to look like dolls, very white dolls. There is nothing more physically important for a Chinese woman than to be pasty white. ALL of them carry umbrellas everywhere they go to protect them from the sun (not that the sun really even shines here through the smog) Whitening creams are also a staple for any girl. I don’t quite understand how a cream can make you whiter but it must be what Michael Jackson used.

Yesterday we rented bikes, a three person tandem to be exact. The tires were flat and the frame wanted to split down the middle but we managed! We clumsily cruised around the Hutong, the charming old neighborhoods and alleyways in central Beijing. I wish the entire city looked like this. Unfortunately though, Gigantic sky scrapers and hectic highways have taken over most of these traditional areas. I just hope they preserve some of the magic before Trump gets here.

I’m off on another adventure! It’s fun being half a day ahead of Boulder. You’re all all sleeping while I’m slurping down noodles!

I’ve heard of some pretty exotic foods but this one takes the cake. My lovely hosts decided to treat us to ‘Drunken Shrimp’ last night. I thought we’d maybe get drunk and eat shrimp but it was the other way around. The shrimp got drunk instead! First of all, as you walk into the doors of the restaurant, you see rows upon rows of fish tanks filled with everything from fish and eels to turtles and frogs. It’s like a pet store, but you don’t go home with a cuddly new pet. You walk around pointing and choosing your dinner and they pull out the helpless creatures as you go. I told them no frogs, they were smiling at me, no eating smiling food.

We were there for Shrimp only and got about a pound put into a flimsy plastic bag. The waiter then trotted off with our little crustacean friends. This is where it got weird. After 15 minutes, the shrimp were brought to our table in a glass bowl filled with what looked to be water and ice. It was not water at all, it was alcohol and they were still alive! The bowl jiggled like a block of Jello as they hopped around. Now to the eating part. They like their food fresh in China and it doesn’t get any fresher than food that’s still alive! Joe grabbed a little soldier and slowly began shelling it. I stared in awe as this was happening, it was a bit much for Vegetarian mind to grasp.

Even as he beheaded the poor little guy, its tiny little legs kicked around on the plate. “How is it Joe?” “Tastes like Shrimp!” he said with a smile. I once again used my Vegetarian card to get out of this one.

Patriotic Duzer

Originally uploaded by duzercruzer

I got the absolute best haircut of my life today! If you are feeling a little shaggy, I highly recommend getting on a plane and coming here. The price of the ticket may be expensive, but it’ll be worth it (the haircut costs only $4).

This is how it worked: I walked in the door and was immediately put into a comfy chair. From there, a nice little lady began lathering up my scruffy mop. (No need to speak Chinese, a smile is all you need) She then worked my hair with her delicate hands until it was nice and soapy. It was then time for the most amazing head massage of my life…pure heaven for 45 minutes. I was in a trance and almost fell asleep to the techno Christmas Carols playing in the background.

Then she rinsed my hair and began a shoulder and hand massage, another 15 minutes of pure heaven. I almost forgot that I was there to get a haircut when a young guy came over and took over the project. He must have been the haircut guru, she was the massage specialist.

He cut my hair with such precision you’d think that he was carving an intricate sculpture. He could have given Edward Scissor hands a few tips. The whole haircutting process was like being in a Five Star Spa, but it was just an ordinary salon on a busy street on the outskirts of Beijing. They put Fantastic Sams to shame!

Ping Pong is big here, no, it’s Huge! Cousin Harry took us to an underground Ping Pong fight club this afternoon. It was dark, dingy and smelled like a locker room. The huge warehouse looking area was filled with about 50 shiny green tables. And every table was manned (or womaned) by enthusiastic Ping Pongers. There were old men in dingy white tank tops, kids, athletic guys in track suits, fat guys and everything in between, it was quite the scene.

Most of the players looked as though they could have been on the Olympic ‘B’ team. They smacked the little balls back and forth so fast and with such precision that it made me dizzy.

While there I met Peter, a super friendly 13 year old boy who was very eager to practice English. “You are American?” He asked in a shy, high pitched voice. We chatted for a bit, or maybe ‘chat’ is the wrong verb, we slowly conversed using hand gestures, smiles and nervous laughter. He then told me that he comes here every day to practice. ‘Someday you play in the Olympics?” I asked. He smiled and nodded, but it was the the kind of nod that tells me he didn’t understand the question, oh well. Finally he taught me the word for ‘friend’ (peng you) “I am happy that we friends now,” he said with a cute smile.” I’m happy too Peter.

Everyone has been overly friendly here, it reminds me why I fell in love with this country on my first trip to China eight years ago. Their government may be questionable, but just as I don’t like to be judged by my government, I don’t think they do either.

Tempe of the Duze!

Originally uploaded by duzercruzer

My first day started at 3am. My internal sleep clock is all messed up but I don’t care, I’ll sleep another day. Right now, Beijing is awaiting!

Today included waiting in a Police station for about an hour to get a piece of paper that says I’m ‘registered,’ What? My $200 visa isn’t enough? Oh well, it was an interesting experience.

On to a little sightseeing at the Temple of heaven. I must say that the temples in China are way better than our temples back home:) I was expecting huge crowds of foreign tourists but it was mainly Chinese. Where is everyone? Must be checking out women’s volleyball or something.

Walking around the city is fun, I feel like I’m part of the Dream Team. All eyes are on the white boys. People constantly give double takes, probably wondering to themselves which sport I play. I haven’t decided yet which lie to give them, I’m thinking either Water Polo or Badminton.

Big thanks to Joe, he is my new friend/hero/savior. This is not an easy place to navigate if you don’t speak Chinese, Joe speaks Chinese and a lot more. I’m staying with his cousins, Harry and Zhen Zhen. Harry is quiet and timid, Zhen Zhen is the most spunky, temperamental and entertaining Chinese girl I’ve ever met. She is taking her job as Gringo bodyguard seriously, always bargaining our prices and giving taxi drivers attitude. I’d be lost without them.

Chinese food in China is unbelievable! Every plate that is brought out is an explosion of flavors. Sometimes good, sometimes scary but always exciting.. Take chicken hearts on a stick for example, Zhen Zhen chowed them down like candy. “I love Chikren harts!” She says while chewing a mouthful. “You want?” My wimpy American tongue said no, I used the “I’m a vegetarian” excuse.

I’m off now to explore more, stay tuned videos and photos!

Can’t see the video below? Check out the “Duzer goes to Jail” video here.

Can’t see the video below? Check out Ryan’s arrival video here.